We’ll just summarize this story, and then comment on it, because you probably won’t believe it anyway.



Justin McCain and Antonio Blount of Newport News, Virginia, decided to get married, despite being gay and in a state that doesn’t sanction such things.  They went to the courthouse where Justin filled out the “bride” part of the marriage license, and was complimented on his great skin several times (seriously). 

They then went to the marriage commissioner, who dutifully performed the ceremony, not thinking anything was amiss.  None of this posed any problem until weeks later when Justin went back to the courthouse to change his name to Penelopsky Aaryonna Goldberry. 

The court got upset when it discovered it had married two gay men, under the impression that one of them was a woman with really great skin (the skin was crucial apparently).  The couple had their marriage declared invalid, and was investigated for supplying false information the marriage license application, but got off because the form says “bride.”  The new forms all say “female applicant” and Justin has yet to claim the most awesome name in the history of the world.

Exhale. 

We’ll take a moment of silence now for the millions of straight marriages that would have immediately disintegrated if this had gone through, but are now struggling bravely through couples counseling.  We’ll take another to commend the Virginia legal system for saving us all from the four horsemen of the apocalypse, which surely would have come riding through if this had been allowed to stand. 

Seriously, though, if there’s anything that can show you how absurd the banning of gay marriage is, this is it.  Two guys got married in a state that won’t sanction it because one of them was mistaken for a woman with great skin, and nobody noticed.  Then, when the state DID notice, it declared the marriage invalid, despite the fact that it had been functioning perfectly for over a month.  Of course, throughout all of this, any redneck off the street could have come in while high on methamphetamines and beat his fiancée while signing the license and their marriage would be completely valid in the eyes of Virginia. 

There’s just no making this stuff up sometimes.

By Pinke.biz writer Ben Ray. Check out his blog at What's Required. Do you want to write for Pinke? We're looking for writers all over the world to write about the gay issues that matter around the globe. We're particularly looking for travel writers and writers in Asia/Africa/the Middle East, but we'll consider anyone with great writing skills and an interest in the subject. Email Pinke editor Robert Knox for more information.