Florida Governor, Fighting Rumours He's Gay, to Release Make-Out Tape
Thursday 29th May 2008
Charlie Crist, the popular, attractive bachelor Republican governor of Florida, has found himself on John McCain’s short list of vice-presidential nominees for some time now. There’s only one problem (well, something McCain would define as a problem anyway): Crist is gay.
Florida Governor and potential VP candidate Charlie Crist. His G-rated tape proving his sexuality will be out soon.
Well, he’s rumored to be, at least—according to a former staffer for the Secretary of State, who claimed to have, er, had relations with the governor, and that another member of Secretary Katherine Harris’ team was Crist’s partner. Crist, of course, denies everything, and typically has a girlfriend—lately, it’s included actress Kelly Heyniger, who was on “Fear Factor” and “Hottest Mom In America.” Nope, nothing about that screams beard.
Despite all of this, Florida remains a key electoral state in the fall, especially on John McCain’s version of the map, meaning that having the popular Crist on the ticket would get him much closer to the presidency than maybe any other choice in this awful year for Republican candidates.
So what to do? Well, according to Politics1, veteran GOP strategist Roger Stone has a plan—release a tape of Crist getting his mack on with a real biological woman. Is it Paris Hilton-style sleaze? Apparently not—according to Stone, it’s an elevator surveillance tape of the two making out, which would of course permanently put all rumors to bed.
No one seems to have actually seen the tape yet, as Stone is “saving it for the national shows”—CNN is a sucker for make-out tapes—but if the tape drops, and Crist gets on the ticket, America could be racing down the path to another Jim McGreevy “I am a Gay American” moment.
Story by new Pinke contributor Ben Ray. Check out his politics blog at www.whatsrequiredky.com
Florida Governor and potential VP candidate Charlie Crist. His G-rated tape proving his sexuality will be out soon.
Well, he’s rumored to be, at least—according to a former staffer for the Secretary of State, who claimed to have, er, had relations with the governor, and that another member of Secretary Katherine Harris’ team was Crist’s partner. Crist, of course, denies everything, and typically has a girlfriend—lately, it’s included actress Kelly Heyniger, who was on “Fear Factor” and “Hottest Mom In America.” Nope, nothing about that screams beard.
Despite all of this, Florida remains a key electoral state in the fall, especially on John McCain’s version of the map, meaning that having the popular Crist on the ticket would get him much closer to the presidency than maybe any other choice in this awful year for Republican candidates.
So what to do? Well, according to Politics1, veteran GOP strategist Roger Stone has a plan—release a tape of Crist getting his mack on with a real biological woman. Is it Paris Hilton-style sleaze? Apparently not—according to Stone, it’s an elevator surveillance tape of the two making out, which would of course permanently put all rumors to bed.
No one seems to have actually seen the tape yet, as Stone is “saving it for the national shows”—CNN is a sucker for make-out tapes—but if the tape drops, and Crist gets on the ticket, America could be racing down the path to another Jim McGreevy “I am a Gay American” moment.
Story by new Pinke contributor Ben Ray. Check out his politics blog at www.whatsrequiredky.com
